OMG :O

Yesterday, I blogged early saying that I had a good day but later that night everything fell apart and it was just horrible. So I was completing my math study guide when I got stuck on a problem. Something was telling me not to go ask my mom for help because something bad was going to happen. But I ignored whatever it was and went to ask my mom. The way my mom was teaching me how to do it, I didn't understand because it was a totally different way that she worked the problem. I told her that and she got mad because I was looking up to the sky because I already told her 10 times that I didn't get what she was doing. Any who, she winded up getting angry and was about to attack me but I ran.. She had a clothes hanger and she threw that at me but missed. So then, I just went into my room just thinking aloud. After that.. she came in with a knife and I just got really scared and I panicked. I felt as if my life was over. A while back, I actually had a dream that my mom came into my room during my sleep and started stabbing me.. It's a scary feeling. But I told my mom that I wanted to leave so she made me get out the house with no shoes or anything. I only had a tank top and shorts. She told me "You think that you can handle the real world? Then get you ass out there and do it! I wish you the best of luck!" and so I got out and she was about to call the police but instead she talked to family members. So she told me to go back in the house and she was going to beat me the next day and I just want go to school. I then went to my room and she started talking about how she knows she hasn't been the perfect mom or anything.. About how she wanted to have a bond with me since I was born.. how she wanted me to be able to tell her anything. Anyway, skip all the extra stuff. Tomorrow is today and I went to school and nothing has happened yet. But I just lost way more respect, love, and trust for her. This is the second time and she also threatened me that she will get a gun and kill me before I kill her. She told me she would rather me stick a knife in her than say I hate her.. which I did about a week or 2 ago. I don't know if I blogged about it or not. Most girls can call their mom their best friend but I can't.. :'(