Update ♥

So I started school again on Monday and I'm still getting "bullied" by these same girls. I am literally getting sick and tired of this. I'm getting pushed to my limit and I am about to explode. Why me? I've never done anything to anyone ever since I started school in January. I used to love school and wouldn't miss a day but now it's like every time I go I'm afraid of being jumped or something terrible happening to me. I tried everything but nothing is working, I don't wanna fight but but it seems as if I'm going to have to, especially since it's the end of the year.. I don't know what else to do. My confidence is getting lower and lower every day that goes by and it's not fun. Every time I talk to someone they always say " but your so beautiful and almost every guy at school likes you" and they seem to not understand that all that doesn't matter to me. I come to school for an education; not to get regret everyday I have to get up and deal with bull shxt, excuse my french but it is the truth. And I hate how people continue to mess with someone and they have no idea what that person is going through or what's on their mind. After I came home from school I found out that my grandmother has cancer! Do you know what it feels like to lose the closest person to you? And only have 1 person left that you can trust and actually depend on to help you in your time of need and then you find out that they have something as serious as that. It hurts! And they just add more and more to what I already have going on. I try to ignore it but I can't.. I still have thoughts.. I even think about would it feel better if I wasn't even here. And everyday my thoughts get persuaded more and more. Ugh!!